


Withdrawn

by triumphforks



Series: Ares/Orion Gouenji/Kidou Drabbles [5]
Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven: Ares no Tenbin
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 02:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17541236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triumphforks/pseuds/triumphforks
Summary: Gouenji tries to find Kidou after the match vs Outei.





	Withdrawn

A clearer mind would have thanked the licence system that let him get in to the innards of a stadium at a school that he wasn’t a student at, for a match he wasn’t playing. And a clearer mind would have set out in to said innards with some kind of plan, or guide, but in the here and now he was willing to wing it, to go by feel and pray that things would work out. Whatever god was listening surely owed him some fall of good luck.

They’d rushed straight over, once they heard the Seisho and Outei match was still going, and arrived just in time to see… well, to see something that had chilled him, that had frozen his breath clean in his lungs. Had it been something lesser, he might have had to fight the urge to rush on to the field itself. But he was so arrested by disbelief that he’d been frozen, unable to move, unable to react, until the whistle call broke through. That spurred him - he knew it wasn’t something that was done, but he had to go down to the depths of the stadium. He had to see Kidou.

It would have been useful if that urge had helped at all in _finding_ Kidou. Because these hallways were getting confusing, and repetitive, and he was acutely aware of people staring at him, not to mention the fact that Kazemaru was waiting outside, and-

-a flash of red, a red he knew, rounding a corner. He quickened his pace (already brisk, now more so), and as he rounded the corner himself, he called out-

“Kidou!”

The other boy was just a few paces ahead, and turned at the sound of his name, startled.

“Ah.” He took a moment, recovering from the shock. “… you came.”

“Just for the end.” He moved in closer, slower pace now, embarrassingly out of breath. At least, that’s what he put the tightness in his chest down to. “Kidou, are you..?” The words caught. He couldn’t continue. And Kidou frowned at it, too, looking away, trying to hide the movement by making at wiping at his face with the sports towel draped across his neck.

There was a pause. A long one. Too long. A silence built as a wall, not like the usual springing from comfort. Until-

“How was Raimon?”

The question was so light, too casual, and it did nothing to ease the tension.

“It was good. They won.” Short responses were all he could manage. He didn’t want to talk about Raimon. But he knew why Kidou had asked, and it would be worse if he ignored that entirely. He didn’t want to have to navigate this… this distance, especially not when he was still struggling to breathe, still fighting to think through the shock.

“Kidou…” He took a step forward, and Kidou took one back. He stopped then, hoping his expression didn’t betray the sharp way that stung inside. And he’d gone and left his voice hanging again, still unable to finish a single god damn thought! But what could he say? Are you OK? _No. Demeaning._ Are you hurt? _No. Almost mocking._ Do you want me to stay here? _No. Implying incapability._ Everything he could think of fell somewhere on those lines - words that would, for other people, be completely normal - but not ones he could say here, now, in this situation, to this person.

What did he want to say? I’m here? But even that couldn’t cover it. No, what he wanted… he wanted to say watching was torture. That if something like this had to happen, he wanted to be right there beside him, not be here in this existence not knowing how it felt, how he suffered, not knowing where to go next. He wanted… to not have this distance, to not have to guess what was meant by furrowed brows, what was being kept from him by hidden eyes. He wanted to feel, so he could know, and so he could fix all the pain, all the discomfort, everything.

He couldn’t fix what he didn’t know was broken.

He could feel all of this, feel it as an inner truth, but lacked the capacity to say it, and had even less ability to explain. What he could do was reach out, physically - and he did so, slowly, eyes begging - but his fingers barely got close before Kidou pulled away again, turned away again, further obscuring already hidden eyes. How was he meant to read what he couldn’t see?

“Sorry. I have to-” Kidou stopped, almost choked, taking a deep breath (halting - not smooth, not calming), raising a hand to massage his temples. Tension. But he didn’t dare risk reaching out again, as much as he wanted to. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, to fight the temptation. “-I have to...I have to find Haizaki,” he managed to finish, but not without considerable tension in his voice. “He’s probably off doing something stupid.” An attempt at levity. They both knew it didn’t quite make it.

“We’re going to Rairai-ken.” It was his turn now to try and be casual, but it was clear from his voice to his posture that he was anything but. An invite tinged with melancholy was not exactly welcoming. “Do you want us to wait?” A pause. This time mercifully short, and yet not without its own tension. Still, Kidou wore that troubled expression. And his breath was sharp, and he noticed his stance was not as steady as it usually was. And he knew he could do nothing.

“I’ll… I have to go.” He still refused to make eye contact. He nodded his head slightly, just enough to be noticeable, as if to say this is it. This was all he was capable of right now, and Gouenji would have to accept that. He gave a nod in return. With that, Kidou started off again, down the hallway, not looking back. But he waited, until the other boy was out of sight, before turning back on his own. While he had come in a rush, he left heavy, dragging, and above all, wishing that for once, the world could be a little kinder.


End file.
